just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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