Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I deserve this hangover.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize