Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
