If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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