oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize