dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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