Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
