I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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