I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
