Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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