I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
