I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
