The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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