My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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