Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
