I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
