Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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