the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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