I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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