I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
