Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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