I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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