I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
