R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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