Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
