I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
