last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
