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I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
