We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
