Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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