Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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