It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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