This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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