Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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