The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You took a bar mat shot.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
