it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
