I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
