You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
