so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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