just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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