Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize