you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
