I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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