if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
