Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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