That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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