that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
