is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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