The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
