Buhtt sex?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
