Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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