Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
