How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
