I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
