i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
