Do you still have your period?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Found the puke drawer
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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