I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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