your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
